Here’s a Thought

Would it be…..could it be……SHOULD it be…….?

Do you think I could avoid the scale until my 40th birthday? I ask cuz of one reason.

That reason is that I am doing — for  the most part — the best I can. I am going to kickboxing 3-5 times a week, eating an essentially clean diet, I have cut back on my wine. The weather is getting nice, I am getting outside to walk with my ladies. This is all good.

Twice, in the past month, I have decided to hop on the scale, I wanted to see those awesome number. Awesome numbers was not exactly what I saw.  What I saw was the same numbers (LITERALLY– THE EXACT SAME!!!!! to the DECIMAL!!!! AND YES I AM FUCKING SHOUTING!!!!! IT SUCKS SO BAD!!!!!) that have been glaring at me from the beginning.

Okay, so I didn’t lose any weight. But what that confirmation did for me was transform me from someone who was feeling good, standing tall, feeling some sense of pride an accomplishment…..and turned me into a sniveling, crying baby weeping into my husband’s shoulder. For what?!

What good is that damn piece of machinery if it has the power to weaken me like that, to take a great day and turn it completely on its head and fill me with self-loathing and negative self-talk for a full 3 days?

I would love to know your thoughts. You — meaning me — because I am still sitting here writing for myself. Maybe my subconscious could comment below.

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